REASONS TO TIP YOUR CAB DRIVER

1. Because your Taxi Driver is there 24 hours a day 365 days a year.

2. Because it is a tradition.

3. Because your Taxi driver knows all the best restaurants, and all the worst ones too.

4. Because your Taxi Driver knows where you went while your wife was out of town.

5. Because your Taxi Driver knows the names of all the women you date.

6. Because your Taxi Driver picks you up when your car breaks down in the most dangerous area of town.

7. Because your Taxi Driver has seen you at your very worst.

8. Because your Taxi Driver knows all your bad habits.

9. Because your Taxi Driver has six children to feed, a sick mother, and his house was washed away in the floods.

10. Because it's cheaper than paying a psychiatrist.

11. Because your Taxi Driver tells you all kinds of great stories.

12. Because your Taxi Driver changes your name when he tells other people stories about you.

13. Because your Taxi Driver will be a lot more likely to come and get you at two o clock in the morning.

14. Because your Taxi Driver thought you would like the scenic route.

15. Because your Taxi Driver comes and gets you when your wife won't.

16. Because your Taxi Driver is keeping you from getting a DUI.

17. Because your Taxi Driver picks you up at the hospital and takes you home at four in the morning.

18. Because your Taxi Driver always has good advice.

19. Because your Taxi Driver knows all the hot spots.

20. Because your Taxi Driver will think you are a cheapskate if you don't.

21. Because your girl friend will think you are a cheapskate if you don't.

22. Because your Taxi Driver will be your friend for just a few bucks.

23. Because your Taxi Driver will grovel for you.

24. Because your Taxi Driver comes and gets you in rain or sleet or dark of night.

25. Because your Taxi Driver finds you even when you don't bother to put your street number on your house.

26. Because your Taxi Driver takes you to the hospital when you are having a baby.

27. Because your Taxi driver listens to all your stupid jokes.

28. Because your Taxi Driver gets you to the airport on time.

29. Because you get what you pay for.

30. Because your Taxi Driver had a complete jerk in the cab just before you.

31. Because your Taxi Driver can explain politics, religion, psychology, sex, life, and love to you.

32. Because your Taxi Driver will always give you preferential treatment.

33. Because your Taxi Driver will make sure word gets around if you don't and you won't ever get a taxi ride again.

34. Because your Taxi Driver can talk to God about you and make sure you get into heaven.

35. Because your Taxi Driver will probably be in a position someday to do you an incredible favor.

36. Because your Taxi Driver can talk to God about you and make sure you DON'T get into heaven.

37. Because your Taxi Driver can embarrass you in front of your friends.

38. Because your Taxi Driver could easily get lost and leave you at the wrong address if he doesn't like you.

39 Because your Taxi Driver can tell you what to do about your crazy girl friend.

40. Because your Taxi Driver can tell you what to do about your crazy boy friend.

41. Because it will make you feel like a hero.

42. Because your Taxi Driver will pick you out of the middle of a fight where you're going to get your ass kicked.

43. Because your Taxi Driver drives you around when you have lost your license.

44. Because your Taxi Driver will help you with your bags.

45. Because your Taxi Driver will get you home when it is dark and scary.

46. Because your Taxi Driver has seen you when you are throwing up.

47. Because your Taxi Driver tips really well when he goes to a restaurant, bar, cafe, or hair stylist.

48. Because your Taxi Driver knows the essential secrets of life.

49. Because your Taxi Driver puts himself in danger every day in order to serve you.

50. Because your Taxi Driver has to put up with sloppy, stupid drunks and deserves every penny he gets.

51. Because your Taxi Driver probably has a doctorate in Liberal Arts, Religious Studies, Law, or Fine Arts.

52. Because your Taxi Driver rarely disagrees with you... Even when you are COMPLETELY WRONG.

53. Because your Taxi Driver's a kind face when everyone else in the world is treating you badly.

54. Because you trust your children to us.

55. Because your Taxi Driver doesn't care if you're ugly.

56. Because your Taxi Driver won't say anything if your outfit is simply ridiculous.

57. Because your Taxi Driver has to pay bills.

58. Because your Taxi Driver has had a really long and hard night.

59. Because your Taxi Driver can make you look really cool in front of your date.

60. Because your Taxi Driver will drive you home after you've been beaten up.

61. Because your Taxi Driver remembers your face when there are twenty people trying to jump in his cab.

62. Because your Taxi Driver tells you you're doing the best thing, even if you're as dumb as a rock.

63. Because your Taxi Driver understands human nature.

64. Because your Taxi Driver will pick you up at the county jail after you have spent a night in the drunk tank.

65. Because your Taxi Driver will bring your girl friend down to the jail to get you after you wrecked the car.

66. Because your Taxi Driver is so cool!

67. Because your Taxi Driver waits outside your house while you are putting on your make up.

68. Because your Taxi Driver waits outside your house while you down those last two beers.

69. Because your Taxi Driver can find you a hotel room at 3:30 am when there is a pig calling convention in town.

70. Because your Taxi Driver knows where you can get the best tattoo.

71. Because your Taxi Driver knows where all the best drive through places are at two in the morning.

72. Because your Taxi Driver would give you a big tip if you were a taxi driver.

73. Because your Taxi Driver might really be Howard Hughes in disguise.

74. Because your Taxi Driver can bring you good luck in the lottery.

75. Because your Taxi Driver is depending on you.

76. Because your Taxi Driver is a well spring of interesting, useful, and entertaining information.

77. Because your Taxi Driver knows all, sees all, and says nothing.

78. Because your Taxi Driver entertains you, educates you, and gets you home in one piece.

79. Because your Taxi Driver always drives more carefully when he has generous people in the cab.

80. Because your Taxi Driver is trying to put his three kids through college so they won't have to be taxi drivers.

81. Because your Taxi Driver can cheer you up when you are depressed.

82. Because your Taxi Driver used to have a real job, just like you.

83. Because there used to be a television series about him.

84. Because your Taxi Driver never get's to "Follow that Car!" like you see in the movies.

85. Because your Taxi Driver knows your deepest thoughts and secrets.

86. Because your Taxi Driver will listen to all your troubles.

87. Because almost every one does a job like driving a cab at least once in their lives.

88. Because your Taxi Driver is a very special person.

89. Because your Taxi Driver knows you are a very special person.

90. Because your Taxi Driver will get you into your house when you are too drunk to walk.

91. Because your Taxi Driver will get you home when you are too drunk to remember where you live.

92. Because your Taxi Driver will help find the car that you lost last night when you were too drunk to see straight.

93. Because your Taxi Driver will drive you around and help you find the friends you lost.

94. Because your Taxi Driver remembers the name of that beautiful person you met last night... and where they live.

95. Because your Taxi Driver is saving up for a better cab.

96. Because your Taxi Driver won't tell your mother, husband , wife, brother , fiance, priest, boss, or best friend.

97. Because your Taxi Driver doesn't care what race, sex, age, sexual preference, or political group you belong to.

98. Because your Taxi Driver knows all the bartenders and bouncers and can put in a good word for you.

99. Because your Taxi Driver will come get you on the freeway when you think that all is lost.